Hello, Blog World! 🙂
I never really considered having a blog until a few months ago when I came to a realization that I can’t really vent out on social networking sites without being judged by my peers. This may seem like another case of the Psychological idea, ‘Imaginary Audience’ (wherein individuals think that in everything they do someone is actually watching and judging their actions). It’s just that, for some reason, in times when I feel like posting something profound, deep or maybe just ’emo’, I end up just pressing the ‘delete’ button on my computer numerous times (Don’t get me wrong though, in this blog I am aiming for more positive post than negative ones!). With that kind of shallow realization, I finally gave in to making a blog (even if I am no writer – pardon the wrong grammar/spelling etc!)
Since this is my first blog post (YAY!), I want to write about some of the changes I have gone through for about 365 days plus, now (mostly concerning my transition from HS to college). But before all that, let me write some random things about my self first. I am now an 18 (turning 19) year old BS MAC (Management of Applied Chemistry) Sophomore studying at the Ateneo de Manila University. I love watching TV shows like the Vampire Diaries, Suits, How I Met Your Mother and many more. When I grow up, I really have no idea what I want to be. But I do know what I would want to do, like: Travel the world etc (will most probably write about my bucket list when I have the time). I hate hotdogs, getting my feet wet (from puddles and whatnot) and feeling useless (huhu emo).
Anyways, back to the topic!
(1) I had always been a shy kid. I guess in one way or another I still am but I can definitely say that college changed me. As cliche as it sounds, it really did. Now I can just talk and even start an interesting conversation with anyone from my block. Sure I still get nervous when I need to talk in front of the class but at least now I don’t stutter as much (hehehe)!
(2) By not being shy and being more open.. now I have friends that I can talk to about absolutely anything in my life. In high school, I do have friends that I can share my shallow rants to but it never really reached the point that I can talk about what I was actually feeling. Maybe it’s because I don’t want them to not understand me or something. I cannot really explain it but I guess now, I am more able to trust and confide in someone other than myself. At the same time, I learned to listen. Not just nod my head and pretend but actually understand each word coming from another’s mouth.
(3) Next, I think that I became more responsible (but with this also come great ‘responsibility’). When I was in high school, I care about my grades but not to a point that I would not sleep just so I can get a good grade and that is where the ‘responsibility’ comes in. Being responsible and grade conscious also made me more of an unhealthy person with all the late nights and crappy feelings when I get a grade that for me did not match the effort I put in.
(4) I think I feel more connected to Him. I know that this is probably an overstatement but in my point of view, it really is a big thing. I was never a religious person. When I go to Church, I had always considered it a chore to sit there for about an hour listening to something I had already learned from in school. But now, I feel like I can actually rely on Him and that every line from the bible is relevant to my life and not just random words I had to ‘understand’ and write a reflection paper about in high school. Now I even memorize verses and read a devo book!
These are the 4 positive changes that really had an impact in my life recently (about a year ago until today). I wanted to point these out because before writing this blog post and making this blog, I kept thinking about how ordinary and average I am ever since. I felt that nothing had changed and I guess I wanted to prove myself wrong? And I think that i succeeded (HAHA)! In a span of 365 plus days, I think that I had changed drastically in terms of myself. In some aspects, for the better, some for the worst (you will probably see these bad stuff in my rants next time HAHA), but nonetheless, I changed. I honestly think that, overall, I changed for the better? (HEHE). If not, I will just try my best to be more optimistic, which is why I posted the picture of the sun and the full on brightness bar! I am looking forward to more positive blog posts in the future!